Circa 2009, HRM Batch.

Our dean wanted to arrange a guest lecture by an Indian Army officer. According to him, the Indian Army was one of the finest examples of human resource management in the country.

Dean: "Class, we are getting Mr. Shekhawat for a guest lecture. I need someone to introduce him."

Me: "Sir, Ashwin is a great orator."

Ashwin: "Abe mai kab se great orator ban gaya?"

Ignoring his protest, the dean continued.

Dean: "Ashwin, remember. He is a decorated Indian Army officer. His rank is this, this, and this. He is from Sikar."

Ashwin: "Yes sir, got it."

After the dean left, I decided to help(ha ha ha... me and help Ashwin?).

Me: "Bhai, ek baat yaad rakhna. Wo pilot nahi hai."

Ashwin: "Kya?"

Me: "Army se hai. Pilot nahi hai."

Ashwin: "Haan theek hai."

A few minutes later...

Me: "Bas introduction dete waqt pilot mat bol dena."

Ashwin: "Mujhe pata hai yaar. Army officer hai."

Another few minutes later...

Me: "Bas confirm kar raha hu. Pilot nahi hai."

At this point, Ashwin was visibly annoyed.

Ashwin: "Arre haan! Pilot nahi hai. Driver nahi hai. Cricketer nahi hai. Singer bhi nahi hai. Samajh gaya."

A few moments later the dean entered.

Dean: "He is here. Ashwin, to the podium."

As Ashwin got up, I whispered one last time:

Me: "Best of luck. Bas yaad rakhna... pilot nahi hai."

The look he gave me suggested our friendship was hanging by a thread.

He walked to the podium.

Took the mic.

Looked at me.

Then looked at the audience.

Ashwin: "We warmly welcome Mr. Shekhawat from the Indian Army..."

A brief pause.

"...and he is not a pilot."

Another glance at me.

The entire class turned toward him.

Ashwin doubled down.

"Because he protects the nation on the ground."

And that is the story of how a perfectly normal introduction became a public clarification that nobody had asked for.