We were heading back after a pickleball session. 

Me: "Aaj reel dekh k seekh raha tha, how to play better."

Prateek: "maine bhi racket neeche se pakadna chalu kia hai, reach badh jaati hai."

Me: "1 inch se kya he farak padta hai, kuch nahi."

We look at each other.

"Farak to padta hai."

At times, we become so engrossed in the particulars and ticking the tally marks that we tend to forget the gist of the matter. This conversation was, in fact, a lighthouse to my rocking boat amidst the storms of life.

Me: "Bhai health ka dhyan rakhna padega."

Anang: "Bhai, mai sirf sookhi roti aur buttermilk leta hu lunch me. It's what the villagers do, an age old tradition hai, it's very healthy. Mai kya karta hu, roti banwa k microwave me sukha leta hu lunch se pehle and fir kha leta hu."

Me: "Bhai mere hisab se, sukhi roti 1 din purani hoti hai, the purpose is that the roti becomes probiotic, and it digests better. What you are doing in the microwave is killing the bacteria, and since it's fresh, it serves no purpose."

Anang: "hmmmm..."

I went to buy a water bottle for my gym class.

Shopkeeper: "Sir ye dekhiye Stanlay ki bottle, ye abhi market me kaafi chal rahi hai."

Me : "Kitne ki hai."

Shopkeeper: "7500 ki hai sir."

Me: "Itne me to gym bag, kapde aur gloves aa jyenge."

Shopkeeper: "Sir, abhi ek case hua tha, car jal gayi thi, is bottle ko kuch nahi hua."

Me: "Bhai, car jal jayegi to mai bottle bacha k kya karunga?"

Me: "apne paas shitake mushroom pade hai ghar ja k kuch banayenge."

Jyoti: "Tum sita k mushroom khaoge to sita kya khayegi?"

An Australian client came to visit. He was checking our chair collection:

Client (let's call him Mike): "So what type of wood do we use?"

Me: "This will be acacia wood. Rosewood is banned, just FYI."

Mike: "So is the acacia wood good? As in, will it work in Australia, and do people opt for Acacia.. am a tad skeptical... First time to India, never heard of Acacia."

Me: "So I might be saving this incident for an Aussie, just like you, my good sir. It's actually a what goes around comes back around... a boomerang joke... so, my friend Deepak Arora bought a boomerang from Australia, turns out it was made in Jodhpur, guess what...... it was acacia."

Mike: "So, it has a market in Australia.. but for Indian tourists... that's what you mean."

 Random Joke. Which made me laugh like crazy. Actually, it's not at all funny, you have to be there for some jokes, innit.

Me: "Deepaaaak tu MARR JA SAALE.."

Ketan: "Marr to ye jaata... Yamraj lene bhi aaye the... is bhai ne OTP he nahi diya."

It's an old story; circa 2017

We were setting up an office, and I wanted a non-generic phone for my EPBX. The ones that were supposed to come with the machine were too tacky, so I went to a famous shop in Jodhpur called Baheti Electronics.

मी : "भैया, बीटल का फ़ोन मिल जाएगा क्या?"

बाहेती : "नहीं भैया, नहीं रखते, अब पूछो ये मेरे पीछे क्या रक्खे है इतने सारे।"