Unintentional Dad Jokes

 I was in local grocery store ‘Fresh & Green’, I called papa to get clarity on my doubt..

Me: Papa… Bel kaise lu?

Papa: Tu giraftaar ho Chaka hai k anticipatory leni hai?

Me: Papa Bel leni hai, sharbat banana k liye.

Papa: Wahi mujhe laga k kya hua achanak Se…

Bel is a fruit, called as wood apple. I laughed a lot, but was stunned to realise he was so casual on me getting jail time… I mean like…

Peeling Punny

As my group was en route to Kasauli, we made a pit stop at a hotel along the way... Party time..Obviously.

Prateek's friends, Krishn and Happy, joined us. Initially, the room consisted of myself, Happy, and Krishna. In those initial moments, a palpable awkward silence permeated the air, fueled by the unfamiliarity between us. Meanwhile, Krishn and Happy indulged in the fruits elegantly arranged on the table, further accentuating the quiet tension that hung in the room.

Krishna: “Tennu (छिलके) chilke de de du?”

Me: “De do, dustbin me fek data hu.”

Happy: “O Dass ra si Ki cheel k de du” (Shall I peel it for you.)

We laughed… and the rest of the night was epic.

Check Out Who Is Checking You Out

I went to Kasauli with my friends, we were staying overnight on the way and made an arbitrary hotel booking.

Prateek was staying at his in-laws, and I was supposed to pick him up in the morning. Me & Samarpit were staying together. As I woke up in the morning, I took my bag and was leaving for Prateek's in-laws in a hurry.

Random Guy: “Hor ji, hotel Vaidhya aaye”

Me: “chutiya hotel hai, rukne aaye ho to mat rukna”

Random Guy: “Ki Kharab Laga ji, Mai to isliye pooch raha tha k check out Hua k Nahi, hotel meri he hai.”

Me: “mera dost hai ander.... who aayega abhi… paid hai mehra bill. Bye.”

I had nothing to say...

Raani Maal Phook Le....

Our friends were sitting at the breakfast table. We ordered hash browns, one of the kid was eating them.

Me: "Baby hash brownie kha li aapne.”

Kid: “nahi mai to pakola kha ri hu”

I realized, I said hash brownie and not hash brown...


I posted the above tweet on my whatsapp status.

Barkha: "how deep."

Me : "pooch k batata hu, as ye kisi aur ka tweet hai, mai itna deep nahi gaya."

Barkha : "bhaiya, I mean 'kitni gehri baat hai.'"

Jokes On You

It's more of a monologue coz this friend didn't respond at all, further proving my point.

Shashank: "aaye nahi aap aaj, we all waited, phone bhi nahi uthaye kisi k."

Me : "bhai kundali dikhane gaya tha. I told pandit ji that -  mere kaam atak rahe hai, bina matlab k delay ho rahe hai, and people are rude to me... Broo...his answer was a cosmic joke; he said  - "bhaiya parso aa k kundali le jana...mai dekhta hu.

Bro he had a straight face saying all this and didn't give a damn... didn't try to be empathetic as well."

Shashank : Last Seen 11:00 PM

Its My Life

This is what that is going on my life, my happy/ sad memories... At times Its what my mind muses and purges out as poetry when its not thinking anything what it is forced to think!!!


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