Mumbai Darshan


Life if not always smooth, at times its like a zig zag road, I was locked in my Chembur working late at 12:20am, was in mood of creating another Pearl Harbor or Bomb a bay; a Kala Ghoda was running my my mental Fort. I got pinged by my friend Pallavi... Aur mai uska Boisar kha gaya..HAHAHAHAHA (Evil Laugh)

Snippet only..

Pallavi : "Don't talk to me."

Me : "Why... the nation wants to know, janta jawaab chahti hai Malad."

Pallavi : "I said don't talk to me."

Me : "Mu Goregaon, aur dil kala, tera mujh se pada hai pala...Batana padega, aap hume Andheri me nahi rakh sakti."

Pallavi : "😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 Get out of my whatsapp"

Me : "Get out?? matlab jao?? tumne apne Churchgate se mujhe bahar nikal diya?"

Pallavi: "🐙"

Me : "To aab mai tumhare liye Nalasopara ka octopus hu? kehna kya chahti ho?"

Pallavi : "Nahi tu mere liye Bandra 🐵🐵🐵 hai."

Me : "Maine tumko PrabhaDevi samjha, tumne mujhe Bandra bana diya."

Pallavi : "😑😒😒😓😔😔"

Me : "Thane me band kar dunga tumko, maine bhi Ghatkopar ka paani piya hai. I always Vashi good for you, aur tumne mere dimag ka Dahisar kar diya hai...Itna kyu Khaar kha k baithi ho mujh pe...ek Lohkhandwala utha k Matunga, Mu ka Mulund ho jayega.. Chal aab Gussa thook k Kurla kar le.."

Pallavi : "Bhaikhala se pitwa dungi bakwass band kar de Shishirrrrrr..."

Me : "Tere Bha ka Saakinaka.."

Pallavi : "Block kar dungi..."

Me : "Block kar degi to tera Kalyaan nahi ho payega."

***BLOCKED***

Image Source : https://in.pinterest.com/kasakkasu/ (Thnx for this image, I love your work)

How to Get Discounts???


Buyer : "Dude there is any way I can get this chair for less than 14,000 rupees?"

Me : "Certainly...there is..."

Buyer : "How.. plz plz plzzz tell."

Me : "if I sell you a broken chair."

Buyer : "Bro... No jokes plz... tell me plz."

In my defence, he is a repeat customer and we are like friends...

Messenger Of God


Was sitting with a friend, discussing about my stupid life choices, his friend came.

Patel : "Bhai nayi shop kholi hai..."

Me : "Pics dikha."

He showed me the pics.

Me : "Ye buddha ki statue k peeche ka frame is in Saagwaan?"

Patel : "Nahi sunmica hai... Saagwaan is costly. Baki dekha, mai Jaini nahi hu, fir bhi Jainiyo k bhagwan buddha ki statue lagai hai."

Me : "Mahaveer Swami."

Patel : "Swamiyo ki mai nahi lagata... Museum thori hai."

Me : "Burma teak ki kya rate hai?"

Patel : "Bhai log bhikari hai...burma teak ki rate sun k dimag kharab ho jaata hai... Ghana Teak ya max CP teak."

Me : "Badhiya hai bhai."

15, Yemen Road, Yemen


If I had a aath-aana for every time a female said me "I don't deserve you, you deserve someone better in your life.", I will have enough to turn a premium hand rolled cuban into ashes and will still left with enough to buy some mints. 


We all want love in our life. We all crave for someone who loves us the way we wanted to be loved, we all seek attention and want all of it from that one person. But its very common phenomenon to get irked by the person who fulfils it. Its surely not a crime, its human psychology.

Human mind works in most bizarre ways. We count the humane side of Osama, "Osama my dear was a very good dad, he was so learned... like a scholar." But, we will look into side effects and negative side when we feel that things are almost perfect, we tend to ignore the 'perfect' and focus on the 'almost'. A tiny black spot on a white shirt is seen.

Don't know why, but its ok, thats how life is and thats how people are. We must learn to live with it and try not to do these things when we are at giving end.

Last Bench Association



This is an old memory, dates back to 2010 I guess, we were at tuitions and some people from some computer class came to advertise there classes there...

They had just began to speak - 

Trainer - "So we will start the demo, anyone with a query can raise their hand like a gentleman, and he will be answered."

after 20 seconds I raised my hand, I was sitting somewhere at 2nd last bench...

Trainer(Taking me as a disturbance) - "We have just started, just wait for some time."

after 20 seconds of that I raised my hand again... That guy ignored me in royal manner.

I raised my hand again after 10-15 seconds.

Trainer - "We have just started sir, can you please wait for sometime all your queries will be answered."

Me - "But I just wanted to say that your voice is inaudible here, can you please speak little louder?"

Everyone laughed... he scrolled to first slide.

Its My Life

This is what that is going on my life, my happy/ sad memories... At times Its what my mind muses and purges out as poetry when its not thinking anything what it is forced to think!!!

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