The Weeping, The Sleeping & The Peeping

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

We 3 guyz went to watch 'Bajrangi Bhaijaan', for a night show. It was a long day for me and I needed to unwind, so we went up from the fire exit, which proved to be a loophole in the security of the Satyam Cinema Hall. We entered without any ticket check.

Shishir - "Security wale ko ye counter foil k saath ticket dikha k aata hu...rukk"

Anang - "Seat Number Bol?? mai audi me jaata hu.."

Shishir - "F15, 16, 17"

Shishir - "Bhaiya jadoo dekho... 2 parchi...fir bhi mai ander hu."

Watchman(Surprised) - "Aap aaye kaha se yaar"

Shishir - "Wahi jaha koi aata jaata nahi."

Watchman - "kaha se batao yaar...aap marwaoge"

Shishir - "jo aage se nahi aata wo kaha se aata hai...batao?"

Watchman - "Peeche se?"

Shishir - "Waah bhaiya...waah...aap hoshiyaar ho."

Watchman - "Baki k 2 kaha hai???"

Shishir - "Wo ander galat seat pe hai...(fake laugh) ha ha ha ha ha. Seat number 9,10,11 bwoy"


While a very intense scene in the movie, everyone was watching the movie very seriously... Anang was about to cry, judging by the sounds he was making.

Anang(suddenly turns to me) - "Tu kitta kamina hai na...wo earphone bekar hai..bata deta to nahi mangata paytm se."

Shishir - "Aur us ka is scene se kya lena dena... aaise time tujhe earphone kyu yaar aa rahe hai.??"



The movie progressed... At the climax...

I looked to my right, towards Sr. Site Engineer Anang, whom the labors tremble. I saw river Ganga from his left eye, and Jamuna from his right eye, and the stream got dirtier as they passed through his cheeks (that's the ultimate fate of all Indian rivers). He was crying like an amputated widow whose husband left loans, no insurance, and a lot of kids to feed.

I looked to my left to 'I don't need general anesthesia, start the surgery after 11 p.m.' guy, Mr. Zubin Mehta Ji; I swear to god... amidst the claps and roaring 7.1 Dolby effects he was asleep on his chair like a Sarkari Babu. 

Shishir - "Ek ro raha hai...ek so raha hai...mai to c****** hu na jo movie dekh raha hu."


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